维持持久关系的方法

08-21 14:21 首页 译言

很难相信是吧?如果所有婚姻关系中一半的结局是离婚,这个几率看起来不利于你和你的另一半(或者未来的伴侣)。先不要开始怀疑一切,还有希望。

维持持久关系的方法

What Makes a Relationship Last

译者:Irenex 原文作者:Amber Pariona 


Turns out there’s a reason relationships tend not to last.

事实是关系不持续是有原因的。


When you meet somebody new or have a new experience, your brain releases opioids. These feel good chemicals make you feel like you’re on top of the world. Think about the first time you kissed your significant other – amazing, right? Now that you’ve kissed at least a hundred times, does it still feel the same? Probably not. That’s because that exciting feeling tends to go away after having the same experience time and time again.

当你新认识一个人或有一个新的经历,你的大脑会释放类罂粟碱。这些好心情化学物质会使你觉得在世界的顶端。想一下,你第一次亲吻你的重要的另一半,感觉棒极了,不是吗?然而当你已经亲吻了至少一百次了,还会有同样的感受吗?很可能不会。那是因为,那种激动的情感,同样的一遍又一遍经历过之后,会消失的。


The same thing happens in a long term relationship. In other words, the passion starts to fade.You can stop boredom from happening in your long term relationship.

在一个长久的关系中,也会发生同样事情。换句话说,激情开始消退。在你的长久关系中,你不能阻止无聊发生。


Don’t just start looking for a new partner. The same problem is bound to occur no matter who you’re with. Some great relationship advice is to learn about the 5 stages of love and why so many people never make it past stage 3. If you can make it past that stage, you hav e a chance at making your relationship last. This is only true if you’re willing to put in some effort.Follow this relationship advice to make your relationship last.

不要就去开始寻找一个新的伴侣。无论和谁在一起,同样的问题注定会发生。这里有几条好的处理关系的建议,即学会爱的五部曲以及为什么许多人从未坚持走完第三步。如果你能通过那一步,你就有机会使你的关系持久。只有你愿意付出努力,这个建议才有用。遵循这个关系建议,使你的关系持久吧。


Ask yourself some questions.

问自己一些问题


When you start to doubt your relationship because the spark has begun to fade, it’s time to ask yourself some very important questions. How did the relationship start? How often do you laugh together? Can you remember the most romantic moment the two of you have shared? Reflecting on these questions can help you remember what you love about your significant other.

当火花褪去,你开始怀疑你们之间的关系时,该是你问问自己一些非常重要的问题的时候了。这个关系是怎么开始的?你们多久一起大笑一次?你还记得你们俩在一起最浪漫的时刻吗?反思这些可以帮助你想起你爱着你的重要的另一半的什么?


Never stop pretending that you’re in a new relationship.

不要停止想象你在一个新的关系中


You’ve probably fallen into the rut of the same old routine everyday. Stop that! Remember when you’re relationship was new? Everything was different and exciting. It can still be that way. Recreate your first date or come up with some new date ideas. Don’t forget the power of holding hands. Take yourself back to the feeling of falling in love. Keep everyday fresh and new to keep the passion alive.

你很可能陷入了每天同样的日常的泥潭中。停止那样!想想你们的关系还是新鲜时一切都是不同的和刺激的。现在也可以是那样的。重新创造你们的第一次约会或者想出些新的约会的点子。不要忘了握着对方的手的力量。让你自己回到恋爱的感觉中。使每天都是新鲜的,使热情保持活力。


Remember all the little details.

记住生活的小细节


Being in a long term relationship doesn’t give you permission to stop putting in effort. In fact, the opposite is true. If you feel like you’re getting bored with your partner, take this relationship advice: do things together. Whether it’s finding things to do on the weekend or coming up with cheap and fun date ideas – staying busy keeps boredom at bay. Are you low on cash? That’s still no excuse. You can find plenty of fun things to do at home. One of the most import ant details you can remember is your anniversary. Make it special with some fun anniversary ideas that will bring the two of you closer together and make a memory you’ll never forget.

在一个长久的关系中不允许你放弃努力。事实上,正相反。如果你觉得和伴侣在一块儿烦了,试试这个建议:一起做事情。不管是在周末找事情做,还是想一些廉价的有乐趣的约会点子,总之保持忙碌就没有机会觉得无聊了。手头紧吗?那不是借口。你可以找到很多有趣的在家里就可以做的事情。一个要记得的最重要的细节是你的纪念日。用一些有趣的纪念日点子使它特殊,使它难忘。


Don’t forget about things outside of your relationship.

不要忘记你们关系之外的东西


Even though you’re in a long term relationship, it doesn’t take away from the fact that you are an individual. Some of the best relationship advice out there is to never let go of your independence or who you were before you got together with your significant other. If you used to love painting, taking pictures, or hiking – make sure to keep doing those things. Don’t give up your hobbies just because your partner doesn’t like those things. Remember, you don’t have to do everything with them.

即使你处在一段长久的关系中,也不违背你是一个个体的事实。一条最好的关系建议是不要失掉你的独立或者和你的另一半在一起之前的你。如果你过去喜欢画画,摄影或者远足——一定要继续下去。不要仅仅因为你的伴侣不喜欢而放弃自己的爱好。记住,你不必和他们一起做所有事情。


A lot of us tend to spend less time with our friends when we start a new relationship. That’s normal, but you shouldn’t forget about them completely. Try to make some time in your life to be with your friends. Just as romantic relationships take effort, so too do friendships. Tired of going to the same old pub with your friends? Try some great, low cost activities together.

当我们有了一段新的恋情时,我们和朋友在一起的时间就少了。那很正常,但是你不应该完全忘掉他们。尽量抽出时间和朋友在一起,就像爱情需要努力一样,友情也是。不再喜欢和朋友一起去老酒吧了吗?试试一起做些好的低成本的活动。


Take the relationship advice mentioned here. You’ll feel better in your relationship and the two of you will stand a better chance at beating the odds.

尝试这里提到的处理关系的建议吧。你将会在处理关系中感觉好些。你们俩在打败日常琐事上会有更多的机会。


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本译文仅用于学习和交流目的。非商业转载请注明译者、出处,并保留文章在译言的完整链接。商业合作请联系 editor@yeeyan.com  参考原文地址:http://www.lifehack.org/604211/how-to-make-a-relationship-last-given-that-50-of-couples-end-up-in-divorce?ref=header-menu-dropdown-essential-read-psychology


  

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